It's a hoe down at the
Grand Union Hotel!
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Dim lights? A lingering aroma of ancient ashtrays? Stale beer soaking into the shag carpeting? Ah, the dive bar! Where you can order a bottom shelf whiskey and fish hot nuts out of a vending machine while swapping stories with surly sailors. Nothing says bottoms up like this Weekly Yelp’s round up of possibly questionable, but definitely memorable dives.
Mathieu Y knocks one back at Grand Union Hotel and chums around with the regulars, getting a taste of “what an actual dive is. You’re guaranteed to get a shoulder massage by someone much older and drunker than you are and to be sold a pair of bowling shoes.” Huh? Jordan H has no fear of the scenesters who frequent the Astoria Hotel. Everyone's there for the “live music two or three nights a week," no cover and cheap beer. Meanwhile, the Brickhouse is home to Jennifer C’s answer to throwing “a party in your bachelor uncle’s rec-room” or a board game CMYE; “Think retro poster art from the '70s, a cigarette machine, pool tables, darts, and a working Pac-Man machine.”
Every ‘hood needs a “no-frills bar,” and for Dani B that local haunt is The Fringe Café: “They won't BS you with expensive drink recommendations. They just keep it real.” Straight up. For some “nothing fancy” boozin’ at a "wear what you're already wearing" kind of joint (and the possibility of a brawl), Jenni O hitches a ride to her local favorite, Boone County. Meanwhile Simon R “braves the lack of glitzy ambiance” at The Royal Canadian Legion in exchange for “some heavy drinking sessions” with “middle-aged dads and war veterans.”
Cheaping out on The Met Pub’s “drink special (a can of beer and shot),” Erin-Leigh S gets appropriately prepped to join Tim L at Pub 340 where "something about the place just induces poor drinking habits" and possibly side effects like: being "drenched in sweat, stripping and gyrating hither and thither" and "almost always getting drunk as f*ck.” Lastly, Alan S stares down the “weird eyeball painting and a Santa with the hookah pipe,” while repeating his mantra: “Elwood's is open late. Elwood's is narrow. Elwood's is awesome.” Cheers!
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