Jimi "The Bomb" S.'s Profile

i was working one summer with this theatre director/designer in Watermill, New York on one of his many projects, some of which were destined to materialize no less than five years in the future.  His name was Robert Wilson, and in addition to being heralded as a one of a kind international theatre creator, he is also known to be very exacting.  

His Watermill centre is a place where many people of many disciplines gather to work on his projects, and one of those folks, is a chef (and his/her crew).  One day Bob and I were sitting down waiting for the food to be served buffet style and as the dishes were being placed on the table, he leaned over to me and said, almost in mourning, "he doesn't even think about what kind of bowls he uses."  He was talking, in case it wasn't clear, about the chef's choice of serving bowls and his lack of thought in pairing food with it's presentation.

Ruby Watch Co. would not have suffered the same disdain from Mr. Wilson and this is evidenced in many ways.  As we walked into the restaurant, we were jovially greeted by two hostesses and while they scanned the reservation book we noticed a monolithic size filing cabinet of some sort.  It appeared to have been plucked straight out of Apocalypse Now from some scene where soldiers take a break from fighting to go pick up their mail.  (That scene still probably sits all chapped and yellowed on the cutting room floor...).

We were seated very quickly, where our main server, reconfirmed that indeed we needed one vegetarian/pregnant meal and one regular prix fix.   The pregnant meal, you might be wondering, has only to do with the cheese course they serve as part of their set menu.  (Pregnant women can only eat pasteurized cheeses.).   These conditions of patronage were handled as smoothly as the homemade churned butter that accompanied the tasty biscuits adorning our first course of caesar salad.

Though simple in invention, the salad was fresh, creamy and tasty with a nice chicken patty nestled within, almost akin to the consistency of a crab cake.  As we waited for our successive courses, in between our gabbing, i noticed the huge self titled sign that ran the length of the long wall preceding the kitchen.  This flashy, yet worn sign, all made of mirrored mosaic, could have been ripped off the roof of a factory now probably home to many a condo dweller.  The mystery still lives on....

My wife delved into her creamy asparagus risotto; the vegetables cracked with a nice crispy freshness.  I had a pork tenderloin that was done in an Asian flair called ABODO STYLE.  Visually this meant a few slices of meat in a ruby coloured sauce that came with a little le creuset dutch oven - perhaps stolen from an upscale easy bake oven set of some little five year old - that held in it a fluffy, fragrant puff of jasmine rice.  To be fair, i dont know that id pick pork tenderloin on a menu;  i dont know whether its a kind of meat i like.  it cannot be cooked medium rare, it must be cooked well done, which is not exactly what i prefer.  that being said, it was not dry, and was complemented by the tang of the sauce in which it bathed.  I also enjoyed a little bit of crunch around each slice's circumference.  With that, there were fresh carrots and green beans in a caramelized onion butter.  i wouldnt have known that, if not for having just read it on their website, but i can tell you that the veggies were bright and clear, if that makes any sense.

Before slathering cheese and rhubarb chutney onto toasted country bread, i could spot the servers, dressed in black ironed tops, with black jeans, with, um, black converse sneakers?  (Just one guy, but I appreciated it.).  I had a stilton and my wife had a cows milk cheese, visually akin to the omnipresent brie, which was severed down the middle with vegetable ash...(you and me will both look that up later...).  

Finally we had this strawberry ice cream with a lemon cake drowned inside it, further obscured by a couple of preserved strawberries (i think preserved..) and whipped cream.  Pretty good, but not what I'd choose for desert, but perfectly sized and balanced in taste.

Did I mention the drinks?  My first expedition led me into a Queen East Bourbon Ice Tea or some such name, which had mint, lemon, some kind of special ice tea and of course, bourbon.  So refreshing and so not cloyingly sweet.  That was followed by a Hungarian red wine, that, both the server and I, after a minute or so of trying to give it it's descriptive due, came up with nothing more poignant then, "it's really different."  When i become a sommelier i'll get back to you.

Overall, i love that i can preview the menu on a day to day basis, their spirit and casual atmosphere and of course their delightful food.

this place blows chunks.

the pizza was quite tasty and for that i feel it deserves the star it gets.  if you had asked me how many stars id give after the first time i ordered from them, i would have given it 3 stars.  when the next 2 times confirmed that this place is run by a group of lackadaisical stoners i was forced to give the the sole star and they stole that from me.  it was coerced from me.  i made it up your honour because of the torture so i could survive.

right.

well to clarify, if it takes you an hour and a half to make and deliver a pizza youve got a major kink in your business.  if you cannot even guarantee the pizza will arrive in that time then im baffled you continue to have electricity to operate your ovens.

go get a coach and start winning games for gods sake.

everything that leads up to you embarking upon your eating experience seemed compelling.  oh boy - catchy enough name.  queen west - hip enough area.  even a few honest-ed style lights alerting me to it being "open" for business lure me inside with the hope of a juicy wheel of beef to call my own.  of course, the promise of a special on mill st. beer with my burger for a mere 16 bucks (right, mere...) clinched it for me.  

well for a hefty price like that, it fell very short.  firstly, there was no mill street left.  no one has to go business school or ever work in a restaurant to know that if you dont have it available, DONT ADVERTISE IT.  i had to mention it to them to remove the sign, which they did.  

the waitresses serving me were very nice, patient and understanding.  i settled for a sleemans, which was offered to me at a mere three bucks (here the "mere" is meant for real).  I sat and watched silent snippets of a women's hockey game in the olympics on one of the tvs that besieged you as you ate. (are we really that boring to each other?).  now i was in a rush and probably shouldnt have come there in the first place because i had a play to catch.  but i asked them to check on my burger - AAA 8 oz burger with havarti, cheddar, swiss, guacamole, tomato, lettuce - and they did and it came out a minute later - DRY AS A BONE.

i imagine that they are required to cook a burger to a certain doneness for legal reasons or some such, but when you have to load it up with mayo and heinz dijon (low quality for sure) just so you can stomach it, there is a problem.  

i really cant express how tragic it is for me when i pay through the nose for food and it sucks.  they offered me a 15 percent discount card for the next time....i left it there.

im willing to acknowledge that a restaurant, a waitress, a cook can have a bad day, of course, but it is hard to return to a place which f-bombs it up the first time around on something you really could have done brilliantly much better at home, especially when they have the gumption to charge as much as they do - and if you tell me that the AAA prime ground chuck, etc., is the reason the price is up that high, then i say to you if i am supposed to afford that meat the respect it deserves (that already sounds weird, but okay), then you, as the cook better idolize it and make me faint with nirvana the moment after it hits my palate.

Food is God. God is great. Therefore it stands to reason that Food is Great. That, of course becomes completely untrue if you are eating at Big Fat Lazy Greedy Burrito.

Why all the negative energy dude? ( I know, I agree).

Well, when you start off with an overpriced small burrito at $7.25, you start to get irked. When you bite into that burrito and it cracks in two, you get blindsided. And when you take the one of four bites it's gonna take to put this experience to rest and it's filled with dry, cold chicken, you are down right offended and hence NEGATIVE.

I've never done this, the review update that takes a business down another notch.

But I think one has to watch out for taking things for granted. Just because you are in a hot neighbourhood doesn't mean that you are entitled to rip off your customers. I'm sure the food they use is of the cheapest  quality. If it was anything more upscale or organic, they'd say so to draw in business.

its time for an upgrade. boo hiss hiss boo.

operating from my philosophy of you are a five star until youre not, wychwood barns holds its rank at present.

i have been here a couple times, once for an event run by The Stop Community Food Centre who leases a large portion of the Barns and the other time has been for a little party.

what has captivated me about this space, is the space itself.  it houses an enormous green house that is run by The Stop, which is home to a vast array of common and uncommon vegetables and fruits in various stages of growth from seedlings to towering stalks.  it is lovely to get some sense of what the early stages of life are like for foods we commonly eat; in fact, most often youd never recognize what the plant was if not for it being labelled.

more importantly, all this food is used by The Stop for community education and charitable events.  There are also sections where school children have their own growing experiments.  i think in a world where most people never give thought to the source of our food,  and especially so in an urban environment, this is a welcome facility and endeavour.

as far as the grounds itself, there is a large playground for children, housed in former barns and factory buildings and it appears to be a lovely, familial environment that that community is lucky to have.

I'm about half way through a regular AKA gargantuan box of pulled pork topped poutine.  Though it's quite tangy, crunchy and replete with curds, I should have gotten a small (AKA something regular).

Other than my own gluttonous tendencies,  i have not too much about which to complain.  

(cut to many weeks later after having not finished this review and now im finishing it...)

so ive had two flavours, as it were, at the smokes, and the second one was the chicken with mushrooms or something like that, and i was not as impressed.  i cannot quite place it, but for some reason i felt like i was eating severely processed chicken, and there were  just a paltry few pieces of it.  ive had better spam sandwiches. (by rights i suppose i shouldnt be complaining about processed chicken after trying to trump it with spam but...).

anyhow, im sure most would agree that for a fun change on poutine this is a solid place.  i suppose once a section is created in the NOW for Poutine Places, we might be able to revise our reviews with a finer toothed comb but until then

stop smoking drugs and start smoking poutine.

i was sad to see kubo radio leave the premises, but in its stead and with a boisterous bang, came The Roy Public House.  every time i pass by this place its packed.  

its decked out in the standard old victorian look which includes textured wallpaper, brass, wood, dividers with small windows to symbolically sequester patrons from surrounding hubbub.  the thing though, is that probably no one who visits this place is interested in a romantic night or intimate conversation.  

we were talking about classic eighties shows when i was there (seemingly classic to everyone but me because i couldnt recall one of them) and the two waiters, decked out in black shorts and grey hair, felt completely at ease piping in to give us their take on the programs that made them the men they were today as well.

to accompany the fray of television debates, was a total and not missed lack of music.  strange but true.  i was also happy to see that (peculiarly) the television up on the wall was turned off.  i understand going to a bar to watch a game with your buddies i suppose...though i never do it, but i rather enjoy going to the pub to TALK with my buddies and try the food...

so we had dinner before we arrived, but the few guinness that warmed my belly were lonely without their accompanying apps.  the one i chose without hesitation, to properly compliment my beer was the guinness coated deep fried riblets.  now i dont quite know if that was the proper name for this dish, nor do i quite remember whether they were battered with a guinness infused breading, BUT firstly...who cares,....secondly, they arrived in an instant, as if some pointy eared vulcan behind the grill in back said "beam them riblets up, scotty."  finally, they were SO GODDAMN GOOD.  the meat was tender; it fell off the little flat bones easily (so flat i could have kept them to skip on puddles outside) and the accompanying sauce was just the perfect bonus - i say that because should they have run out of it, the dish would still have been awesome.

the crowd, at last, was surprisingly and warmly, mid thirties and above.  in fact, my friend was telling me as we were sitting there, that her and her family would go to the pub every friday night when they were younger to dinner and some beers.  and it feels like that.  it feels like you could come here with buddies, but also for a tasty meal, comforting in nature, surrounded by a jovial crowd, those serving, those being served, all being served by the notion of community and raucous ol good time.

just had food from here this morning, last night, earlier in the day yesterday, just after a first breakfast yesterday morning and im hoping to polish off the remnants over the next couple of days.

hows that for committed?

like all great middle eastern places, i only have them when i am north of eglinton.  this is not a frequent occurrence, for good reason.  however, when im there, i delight in their robust falafel balls that crunch on the outside and warm your mouth with the softness of a pillow on the inside.   this holds true even when they are cold - except for the crunchy part, but NEVER are they dry like virtually all falafel places south of there.  

the salads are fresh, tasty, albeit a little oily - but i cant resist the eggplant salad even though its bathing in oil.  the pita is the only kind i enjoy - a big circular pocket thats fluffy and fresh.  the hummous and tehina are perfect in their consistency, and spice.

the only thing that i dont like from this place, is when you go inside and order a falafel sandwich...its gargantuan...so much so that you have no idea how to approach it...and you want to approach it...its like a hot sexy big assed, big breasted, big lipped woman.

(not quite sure if that metaphor worked but, i gave it a go at least.)

so if i was more diligent id have researched exactly what pickle barrel my wifes uncle purchased our family fandangos food from last night but i would stake my life on the fact that its probably the same what ever barrel youre choosing from.

so i wasnt all that excited but i came out satisfied i have to say.  i had a chicken soup with kneidlech (matza balls) and lokshen (noodles) and it was decent - a little lukewarm but warm enough, the balls and noodles were cooked to a near perfection, the soup mildly flavourful.  then i had some tuna salad salad with lettuce, broken pieces of tortilla chips of different colours, sprouts, a creamy dressing and a scoop of tuna.   pretty good i have to say.  creamy, crunchy, crazy combo.

that was rounded out with an open-faced corn beef/pastrami/turkey breast sandwich with a little yellow mustard.  that was decent.  ive surely had better but good enough.  

cant say id ever go there instead of other places, but if i had to....id manage just fine.

i suppose it all depends on what you see here, but having seen Ben Kweller here and coming here for the first time it was a great experience.  we were farther back for the opening act and still the sound was great.  in between sets, while other dummies went to the bathroom or snagged some run of the mill beers, we shimmied up front to catch nose hair glimpses of Kweller himself and were all the more delighted to have done so.  he is awesome and so was his band.

but this being a review of the mod club, i shall move along properly.  adorning the ceiling are these huge white discs, im guessing made of fabric.  perhaps they are for sound.  i dont really have anything interesting to say about that. sorry.  just noticed it is all.

okay. let's try this:  there were really, and i mean REALLY cool light patterns on the wall man. ya dig?

(hows that?)

well wit's end here folks:  the beer was standard in its selection, the coat check girl needed some help - too many people, two hands only, the bouncers need to find a sense of humour - which bouncer doesnt.  (do they have awards somewhere that all bouncers go to - the most miserable award of the night...goes to the ENTIRE CROWD OF BOUNCERS ATTENDING!!!!)

for the right band though, id definitely come here again because its...

rad at the mod.