Talk Toronto

Anyone want to get married?

Category: Relationships & Dating

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Photo of Karl R.
6/23/2010 Karl "Kid Don Cornelius" R. says:

No, I'm not asking for anyone on Yelp to marry me. Unless you want to. Then contact me privately via Yelp mail. We'll have coffee.

Anyone on Yelp single but you're thinking "I'm really thinking I should find someone and get married"?

If so, what are your reasons?

Obvious ones for me:

- Dual income. One salary can typically pay most living expenses, leaving the other person's salary for other stuff.

- I really hate having to pack my own groceries. It's so nice when there are four hands at the end of the No Frills conveyor belt to pack up those groceries.

- Nice to have someone to cook for. It sucks to cook a lot of food and then spend a week eating it as left overs. Two mouths can eat the food quicker.

- Someone might notice me dead sooner. I've always wondered how long it would take work or friends to figure out I've died in my sleep.

  1. Photo of susan c.
    •  
    • 299 friends
    • 210 reviews
    6/23/2010 susan "My hat is not filled with marzipan" c. says:

    @Karl R: You don't need a wife for those things. You could just get a roommate.

  2. Photo of Elaine K.
    6/23/2010 Elaine "Danger Zone" K. says:

    The only practical reasons I see to get married at this point are:

    - A ton of things are simpler if you have kids (apparently you need to get a lawyer to draw up some papers if you want to leave the country alone with your own kid!)
    - Your families will finally take your relationship seriously.

    Other than that, any other practical things are pretty much covered by being common-law, or having a roommate, if what you're most worried about is having your dead body found before the cats start eating you.

  3. Photo of Karl R.
    6/23/2010 Karl "Kid Don Cornelius" R. says:

    Oh you remind me Elaine... wedding gifts! You can really deck out a place on wedding gifts. It's a little late for me as I have all my knives and pots and pans and forks and stuff but I've seen cousins get married and it's the first time they've really lived on their own and they pretty much get everything in one shot you spend about five years slowly accumulating.

    Actually, I could use a crock pot. I think if I got married I'd get registered at Just Crock Pots.

  4. Photo of Daniel B.
    6/23/2010 Daniel B. says:

    Marriage is for suckers.

    The only real reason to get married is to get better gifts when you decide to throw a party.

  5. Photo of Elaine K.
    6/23/2010 Elaine "Danger Zone" K. says:

    True, the wedding gifts are pretty amazing. Actually, both of us lived on our own for years before we got hitched, so we had everything we needed. Post wedding, we have everything we need, but the grown up versions, not the cheap dollar store/ikea versions.

    Also we made a commitment to love each other forever bla bla bla.

    You can get crock pots at Canadian tire for like $40. Way cheaper than throwing a reception. Or getting a marriage license, even.

    Daniel, depends on whether you would rather have a well-stocked bar or a pots and pans set.

  6. Photo of nikki c.
    •  
    • 29 friends
    • 33 reviews
    6/23/2010 nikki "wanderlust" c. says:

    I was just thinking about this issue yesterday! Mainly because a coworker made a comment about how my other coworker "should make more money, because he'll have a family to support one day."  SO NOT FAIR. Having two people (and two incomes) makes just about everything easier. Aside from the income issues, chores are huge. What I wouldn't give for someone to share the cleaning, financial management, grocery shopping, laundry, repairs, etc with. My roomate is great, but I would never ask her to do my laundry or dishes or plan investments for me.

    Roomates are totally different. Let's say I lost my job, you think a roomate would support me? Probably not, but sure like to hope a husband would. Financial security. And regular security. Call me old fashioned but things feel safer with a man around.

  7. Photo of Roma M.
    6/23/2010 Roma M. says:

    I get the financial aspects and the part about loneliness, but what about the freedom you'd give up? Are you ready for that?

  8. Photo of Giselle g.
    6/23/2010 Giselle "Goulash Party" g. says:

    If you want the gifts you'll need to have a wedding. Do you know how expensive and aggravating weddings are? You'd be lucky if you broke even at the end of it.

  9. Photo of Eliah H.
    •  
    • 48 friends
    • 79 reviews
    6/23/2010 from Yelp for iPhone Eliah "on the run from Thinkpol" H. says:

    Really, it's tough living in Toronto on a single income unless you're lucky to have a $40K + a year job. But you know I can't imagine commiting to someone unless you are really compatible, which is rare fir some people.

  10. Photo of Rana L.
    6/23/2010 Rana "hkmissologist" L. says:

    monetary gifts are pretty sweet...but it's true that nowadays u prob won't break even. if each guest could guarantee $200 u should be safe but only if ur frugal. now i know weddings aren't supposed to be about gifts, etc. but you know what i mean... @@

  11. Photo of Lauren M.
    6/23/2010 Lauren "Lo-BAL" M. says:

    I would like to get married to someone with an EU passport :)

  12. Photo of Kat F.
    6/23/2010 Kat "don't get me started!" F. says:

    I was going to say, sounds like all you need is a roommate or live-in girlfriend.

  13. Photo of Elaine K.
    6/23/2010 Elaine "Danger Zone" K. says:

    In terms of monetary gifts, people generally give $100 per person. So if you want to end up on top, you want to make sure that your reception doesn't cost more than $60 per person, your dress isn't $1,000, you're not renting limos, etc. Also, photographers generally start at $2,000.

    If you're having a reception in Toronto with more than 50 people, you will probably have a really hard time finding a place that's less than $100 per person (that isn't, you know, the Golden Griddle or a dumpy Chinese restaurant).

    Why yes, I did just get married. Why do you ask? haha

    My advice to everyone: if you really want to get married, elope.  And yes, you can get a MUCH nicer 1 bedroom apartment on two incomes, rather than one.

  14. Photo of Giselle g.
    6/23/2010 Giselle "Goulash Party" g. says:

    ...but try living in a one bedroom apartment without divorcing

  15. Photo of Karl R.
    6/23/2010 Karl "Kid Don Cornelius" R. says:

    True, Giselle. I think if you live with a partner, you need what I term a "decompression chamber". You need another room you can go to to break the sight lines. It doesn't have to be your man cave or her sewing room. It can be just a neutral room either of you can use.

  16. Photo of Tony F.
    6/23/2010 Tony "tells the truth, even when I lie" F. says:

    I've got two words for ya:  Common Law... Booyah!

  17. 6/23/2010 Carolyn B. says:

    My divorce should be final in 79 days.  I'll get back to you mid-September.  Right now, I'm enjoying my freedom way too much to contemplate marriage again ... but thanks for asking, Karl the Lover.  ;-)

  18. Photo of Karl R.
    6/23/2010 Karl "Kid Don Cornelius" R. says:

    Carolyn, I will save myself until the day you're ready to take the plunge again. Do you have a crock pot?

  19. 6/23/2010 from Yelp for iPhone Carolyn B. says:

    Why, yes, Karl. I do!  I also have unused wedding gifts.  Just like new!  Towels and crystal platters NEVER go out of fashion!

  20. Photo of Laura C.
    •  
    • 81 friends
    • 647 reviews
    6/23/2010 Laura "Lala" C. says:

    I've been wanting to get married since I was 16. I think what I want is that sense of belonging and family, and starting a family and i have been ingrained with the idea that I have to be married in order to do that.
    I don't really agree with any of it,  but we have been socially brought up to believe in these things, and I cannot turn my back on it, no matter how senseless it seems to be.

  21. Photo of Tony F.
    6/23/2010 Tony "tells the truth, even when I lie" F. says:

    Not mine.. but thought it was a funny read.

    "I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
    by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
    the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
    went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
    one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
    she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
    your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
    was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
    not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either."

  22. Photo of Renata R.
    6/24/2010 Renata "nyanyanyan" R. says:

    I married my boyfriend because we wanted to immigrate, and we were almost living together. So, it was useful for us. Nothing really changed - but a piece of paper, and a cheap wedding ring.  

    I don't think that kind of relationship in Tony's tale can be described as love. Is more like... business. ;)

  23. Photo of Susan Z.
    6/24/2010 Susan "Feed Me, I'm a Tamagotchi" Z. says:

    @Roma:  What freedom?  Like being able to date every single hot guy in my orbit?  'Cuz I sure as hell am not doing that now.  I think if you're in a healthy marriage, the two of you should like to do fun, free things together.  On top of that, you get regular sex with a guy who knows your body well and who knows what you like.  None of that crappy one-night stand fumbling "No, no, jesus, let me show you!"

    @Lauren:  I want an EU passport soooo badly, but I think many EU countries don't give them out for a spouse, only if you're blood-related/descended.

    @Giselle: I think it's totally doable, I've lived with my boyfriend in a one bedroom.  It's hard at first, but eventually it works out.

    To be honest, I want to get married one day.  I don't care if I spend shitloads of money on the wedding, I want to have the most bitchin' reception ever.  Huge dancefloor, open bar, my favorite DJ, the best food.  I am not inviting anyone who won't dance and no kids are allowed.  I want people to wake up the next day and go "Fuck, what happened last night?  That was the BEST NIGHT EVER!!!  Did Susan even get married?"

    Deep down inside, I'm still a total romantic.  I want to get married b/c I'd like to believe the guy I marry is a guy that I really want to spend a long, long time with.  A guy who I can't get enough of in bed, who makes me smile every time I think of him, who will make me feel safe when I'm with him, who will be my equal and treat me as a equal, who I feel I can conquer the world with, etc.  

    As of yet, I haven't found that guy.  But my "freedom" isn't living up to the hype, I've liked being in love more.

  24. Photo of Renata R.
    6/24/2010 Renata "nyanyanyan" R. says:

    Being married is not being in a cage. You've being watching too many creepy movies.

  25. Photo of Tony F.
    6/24/2010 Tony "tells the truth, even when I lie" F. says:

    Marriage to some is just a word, to others it's a sentence.

  26. Photo of Lauren M.
    6/24/2010 Lauren "Lo-BAL" M. says:

    @Susan, very true, but at least if you are married to EU passport holder than you are allowed to work in the same country as a resident, then eventually apply for passport ;)

  27. Photo of Kat F.
    6/24/2010 from Yelp for iPhone Kat "don't get me started!" F. says:

    I just don't see how getting married "guarantees" you the activity partner, steady sex, company and chore/bill splitting any more than being in any sort of committed relationship does.

  28. Photo of Michael C.
    •  
    • 63 friends
    • 187 reviews
    6/24/2010 Michael "I would rather be flying" C. says:

    Having been married for 8 years I don't know if it's good for me. Going through seperation right now and reflecting on the the pros and cons of being married. Men and women are so different in many ways it takes a lot of work from both parties to make it work that's for sure. If things don't work out and it ends badly guys usually get screwed financially (can you say lawyers they are the winners in this). Lucky mine did not end badly we are still friends and care about each other. Maybe you just have to get lucky and find the right person. No " guarantees" that's for sure.

  29. Photo of Susan Z.
    6/24/2010 Susan "Feed Me, I'm a Tamagotchi" Z. says:

    @Kat & @ Michael, obviously there are no guarantees.  I mean, I've seen my share of shitty marriages and I highly doubt anyone gets married hoping "Yes!  A shitty, unhappy, resentful marriage!  SCORE!"

    I think of it along the lines of saying "I love you".  I mean, you can be in a long relationship where you do love the person, but you never really have to say it.  What does it mean to say it?  It's just 3 words.  

    And yeah, marriage seems similar to just being in a committed relationship.  But the difference to me is "Oh, we have our own places, but we basically live together because we're always at each others' places" and actually living in one place that you share.  It's a whole other area of knowing someone, committing, and sharing/compromising/loving.

    But yeah, nothing comes with guarantees.  And I still haven't met the guy who makes me want to get married.  But I still believe in my concept of marriage, as outdated as it may be.

  30. Photo of Julia C.
    •  
    • 5 friends
    • 11 reviews
    6/24/2010 from Yelp for iPhone Julia "Starbucks is my kryptonite" C. says:

    I have been thinking about marriage for two main reasons:

    (1) I'm edging closer to the 30s and my parents call me on a daily basis insisting that I'm near "expiry" and should seriously start thinking about settling down.
    (2) i want a return on all the money I've been forking over for various weddings, shower gifts, etc.
    (3) to get a green card

  31. Photo of Julia C.
    •  
    • 5 friends
    • 11 reviews
    6/24/2010 from Yelp for iPhone Julia "Starbucks is my kryptonite" C. says:

    Oops three I should say. I added in the last one and forgot to change it

  32. Photo of Rj P.
    6/24/2010 Rj P. says:

    Nope.  Sorry, not interested.

    k. bye. tks.

  33. Photo of Eliah H.
    •  
    • 48 friends
    • 79 reviews
    6/24/2010 from Yelp for iPhone Eliah "on the run from Thinkpol" H. says:

    Funny thing is out of what was my crew of cruising posse I was the one who wanted to settle down with the right gal and have a family and was the only one who didn't. Perhaps it's because I didn't want to settle for someone who I wasn't sure I'd want to share the rest of my life with. Maybe some people just don't get the choice.

  34. 6/24/2010 from Yelp for iPhone Carolyn B. says:

    For those considering marriage, I would highly recommend an eye-opening visit to a family law lawyer beforehand. The process of equalizing and dividing family assets - and even figuring out what family assets are - is mindboggling. (For instance, pensions are a family asset. I was in mine for 15 years, he in his for one, and he got credit for the value of half my pension.)  When it ends, you find out that marriage really is a legally-binding contract with ramifications that you never considered. As unromantic as it seems, I think a pre-nup should be on the wedding To Do list right between "Flowers" and "Smoke Machine for the Dance Floor".  (No I'm not a family law lawyer!  :-). Just speaking from experience.  And  btw, my divorce cost me WAY more than my wedding!)

  35. Photo of Renata R.
    6/25/2010 Renata "nyanyanyan" R. says:

    Where I come from, there's always sort of a pre nup when you marry. Usually  is like that: what you own before marriage only belongs to you, and what you buy after is shared 50-50. If you want something different you have to change the default agreement. This works for most people.

    But, besides being happily married, I'm an advocate of single life and I believe there's no such thing of "having to find your S.O. and sharing a lifetime". I believe in having fun with everybody you're interested in, and if happens for you to find love, that's great, enjoy every moment of it.

  36. Photo of Nareesa B.
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    • 3 friends
    • 4 reviews
    6/25/2010 Nareesa "ya that's how you pronounce it" B. says:

    @Susan - My wedding reception was "Fuck, what happened last night?  That was the BEST NIGHT EVER!!!" Everyone had a great time, but every was drunk. it was a toonie bar and most people ordered the most expensive drinks just because they could. Family who've never danced in their lives were up dancing. The food was great (wish I had had more of it, but I was too busy socializing) and I got what I wanted: a big party!! my husband was outside smoking all night and barely made into one picture. He's not the big party type, but I have a picture of him passed out on the hotel bed in his undies, his dress shirt his tie and he has his hand on his ahem. Yup, he had a great night too! lol! I passed out long before he did...

    the one thing I hate about marriage-- "we" pushes out "I" and I don't like it. I like to get what I want, when I want it, and marriage doesn't exactly promote that ;)

  37. Photo of Elaine K.
    6/25/2010 Elaine "Danger Zone" K. says:

    Nareesa, sounds like our reception! After the official reception, we had a hotel room party. It was disasterous. I was in a pretty bad state for brunch the next day! It was the perfect beginning to our married life... partying out brains out :)

  38. Photo of Mozart A.
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    • 4 friends
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    6/25/2010 Mozart A. says:

    I just say to people that if you don't want to stick with just one girl, don't do it. I know lots of guys that can't stop bragging about how awesome was the chick that they boned yesterday, can't control themselves teasing girls on the streets, all of this while being married. Makes me want to punch them in the face.

  39. Photo of Marta S.
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    • 10 friends
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    6/25/2010 Marta "Magical pixie Pegasus" S. says:

    Hmm... Nareesa... you're giving me some ideas ^^.
    And to all of those talking about making sure you talk to a lawyer, and all of that...
    Isn't it possible that a couple will stay together for their entire lives? Looking for all of the things that might go wrong isn't exactly a good start to a relationship. I have a friend who's getting married, and she and her fiance have already found a good divorce lawyer "just in case". Makes me wonder why they're bothering if they're already looking for a way out.
    I, on the other hand, and my fiance, are sticking to traditional marriage. Til death do us part type of a thing. We believe it's possible,

  40. Photo of Joan L.
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    • 18 friends
    • 43 reviews
    6/26/2010 Joan "... all caught up on my reviews ..." L. says:

    I don't believe that marriage is necessary but I can understand why people desire it - it is a public declaration of a commitment b/t two people and it also says that these two individuals trust each other enough to willingly enter the convention of 'together forever'. No one can fully know their partner before marriage but they know enough to believe the other is most likely the 'one' and are willing to take the steps of sharing their lives together indefinitely. Some people understand this is risky business and take all necessary precautionary steps - before marriage classes / prenups etc (I totally support this idea) but this doesn't mean they don't believe the marriage won't work.

    On the flip side, some people treat it is a piece of paper that legalizes a couple's union and nothing more. This in theory makes sense too  b/c what makes a relationship work can occur with or without marriage. Open communication, loyalty, compromise etcare essential amongst couples.  

    In the end, it is unique to each person - some people will choose to marry. Others will think it is hocus pocus and a complete waste of money.

    For me, I was engaged once. I will leave it at that. :)

  41. Photo of Taiyab K.
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    • 8 friends
    • 41 reviews
    6/26/2010 Taiyab K. says:

    I can get cheaper car insurance and I can live in the family centre for UofT, some place on Charles.

  42. Photo of Melanie C.
    7/8/2010 Melanie C. says:

    I once dated a guy because I liked his last name.  Then I realized I could just change my name without the hassles of marriage.

  43. Photo of Vivek S.
    7/9/2010 Vivek "When I wake up imma be yelping" S. says:

    I've heard a lot of lame reasons to get married:

    1. We love each other. (You need a licence for that?)
    2. We want to have kids.  (So what? Have kids.  Worried about their last names? Try "Wilson" or "Chung.")
    3. We want a big ostentatious wedding that proves we know how to go into debt in style! (Go die somewhere.)
    4. It's part of my heritage, I've been ingrained, I can't think for myself, etc. (Can't help you here.)
    5. It's a "public declaration" of our love. (Facebook is cheaper than a licence, and more people will know.)
    6. We can't live together until we get married, or you-know-who gets mad.  (Whatever.)
    7. All our friends are getting married, so we should too.  (Double whatever.)
    8. We heard that X, Y, Z is better when you're married.  (Wrong. What difference does it make, really?)

    That said, there are a few practical reasons to get married:

    1. You need it for immigration purposes.
    2. You want some of those sweet, sweet, tax benefits.
    3. You need a boatload of crockery, crystal and towels.
    4. You got stoned one night and already booked a venue and caterer.

    But really, I have only one major qualm against Marriage: it's a government's way of rewarding the non-single, monogamous (and in a lot countries, heterosexual) lifestyle.  Which is unfair.  That leaves a lot of polys and singletons out there feeling like dust.  And even non-married couples are asked, "when are you going to get married?"  Not if, but when.  It's annoying, and I feel like the real impetus for marriage in a lot of cases isn't (just) love (which can exist outside of marriage BTW.  Ask me how!) but cultural and social pressure.  I won't comment on my feelings towards this social pressure (laaame) but provide only these sobering facts:

    "The latest estimates from Statistics Canada in 2008 suggest that 38 per cent of married couples in Canada will divorce by their 30th wedding anniversary (divorce beyond that point is rare). The percentages range from 22 per cent in Newfoundland and Labrador to 48 per cent in Quebec. In the U.S., the figure is 44 per cent."

    I just learned that 13% of skydiving incidents end in fatality (2009).  You have a better shot of making it unscathed jumping out of a plane, vs. jumping into a marriage.  JUST SAYING.

  44. Photo of Nikki H.
    •  
    • 8 friends
    • 25 reviews
    7/9/2010 Nikki "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" H. says:

    @Tony: BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH that story is golden. GOLDEN!

  45. Photo of Nikki H.
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    • 8 friends
    • 25 reviews
    7/9/2010 Nikki "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" H. says:

    People shouldn't have to give up "freedom" while being married... It's not prison, it's just a relationship that's been celebrated (and vows that have been expressed) in front of family and close friends... A lot of people give marriage a meaning that it doesn't really have.

    With debts, I don't understand when people pay thousands and thousands of dollars just for a wedding. It's special, yes, but come on... It's one bloody day of your whole lives... Some weddings are a freakin' down payment of a large house. ?!?!?!???!

    @ Vivek:
    I don't get why some people are so seemingly against marriage. As much as you say all of the "lame" reasons to get married, these don't apply to everyone who gets married. And even if these ARE reasons that people get married, why should it matter? That's the thing about marriage, it's a PERSONAL choice made by the two people (maybe not in all cases...).
    That being said, I also wouldn't ask a single person "So, when are ya gonna get hitched? It's about time, eh, the old eggs might be dryin' up!" as I find it highly ignorant to ever make a judgement on a person's relationship status. Some families have values about marriage, some don't. Some people have different beliefs about marriage... Doesn't mean that it's a stupid thing to do.

    Also, statistics of divorce rates are just numbers. These aren't a preview to how many people will divorce or stay married in the future. Nor is it really a proper argument against marriage.

    (Sorry, I don't really mean to attack you or your opinion... I actually had a conversation about marriage with an old friend a week or two ago, and it had me pretty riled up hahahahahhaa.... He had a similar opinion to you on this... So no hate meant!!! I'm probably just grumpy because a lot of your points make sense hahahahahhahahaha)

    On the flip side: I knew a couple who got married, and were SO not right together, and they did end up getting divorced. I have never dared to ask them why they got married in the first place... And the funny thing is that if someone asked me why I got married, I don't think I could answer that. Because as Vivek wrote up there, you don't really need a license to love a person...

  46. Photo of Nikki H.
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    • 8 friends
    • 25 reviews
    7/9/2010 Nikki "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" H. says:

    As for the 1 bedroom situation: my husband and I have been living in a 1 bedroom condo, 700 sq ft, for a couple of years now, and it's driving me INSANE. Luckily, our house will be finished in October. ;) You have to be SUPER close to eachother, the type of couple that never needs any space, to be okay with those living conditions... Unless it's a large 1 bedroom. It's hard to get "private relaxing time" in the living room when you can hear your husband using the washroom... O.o

    It's also different from living with a roommate, because everything becomes "ours", not "mine and yours"... Which means there may be times that you buy an apple. And you spend the day at work wanting this apple, only to come home and realize that the "significant other" has eaten the apple without asking because it's "ours" to share... Then you're left with no apple.

  47. Photo of Liz P.
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    • 23 friends
    • 15 reviews
    7/29/2010 Liz P. says:

    There are a variety of reasons to marry.  I loved Vivek's comments and agree with them.  I believe most people marry because they're "supposed" to - and they tick that box on life's "must do" list.  

    If I marry, it'll have a lot to do with a combination of the following: love; legalities - common-law spouses don't have all the same rights as legally married couples; and to live together in the same country with my beloved.  (I could never marry just for immigration/Green Card purposes).  

    So I take the issue of marriage on a case by case basis, and in my case, I'd like to marry before I die - but only if the situation's right.

  48. Photo of Renata R.
    7/30/2010 Renata "nyanyanyan" R. says:

    Vivek is the guy.

  49. Photo of Fabio N.
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    • 65 friends
    • 85 reviews
    7/30/2010 Fabio "I actually CAN believe it's not butter" N. says:

    Ok, I'm going to come out of the proverbial closet now, with Renata's consent.

    We've been together for ten years, and I know for sure it only worked because we're very honest to each other. And the only way to have this honesty is to admit, right off the bat, that being attracted to other people is perfectly normal and doesn't mean, in any way, that you love your significant other any less.

    Love is not a finite resource.

    Read the sentence above again.

    You can love as many people as you want. Don't you love your parents? Your friends? Love is THIS. What most people call love is actually lust, possession and, who knows, sometimes actual Love.

    The point is: we fool around. Sometimes we even have parallel girlfriends/boyfriends. And for all of you that think this would never work, well, we've been together for 10 years.

    What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to do as your parents did. It's your life, and you should decide how to live it. If you're not hurting anyone, then fuck peer pressure.

    Before I end this rant, I must not forget to say this: Vivek is the man. Do I need to say I agree 100% with you after this?

  50. Photo of Thom H.
    7/31/2010 Thom H. says:

    Hey Karl, would a woman in or around the age of 40 with dreamy wide eyes, a great smile a wonder and hair that comes straight of a shampoo commercial be of interest?  If so, talk to me offline.  I've got this friend who my wife won't let me marry, and someone ought to.

  51. Photo of Michelle C.
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    7/31/2010 Michelle C. says:

    I don't want to get married, maybe ever.

    However, I do have a live in partner and it is pretty sweet. I haven't had to kill a spider myself in a couple years. Or carry heavy things. Or climb on the kitchen counters to get stuff down from high shelves (I'm not quite 5ft, partner is 6ft2).

    I actually don't want to share financial stuff (i mean, other than sharing bills and costs for required stuff), so all in all, just living together is great. Plus I can afford a way nicer place to live and justify making good dinners.

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