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susan "My hat is not filled with marzipan" c.'s Profile

Random Sh*t I've Reviewed

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Random Sh*t I've Reviewed

Because I don't know who else to tell this to...

1. 1 Sentence Yelp Reviews

New York, NY

Category: Local Flavor

5/22/2010

They suck more than your crack-'ho mama does when the rent is due.

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Oh, great. Now Yelp has enabled people who are already too lazy to write more than a one-line review sink deeper into their pool of slack.

"Yelper X. liked this business."

How the f*ck is this helpful? What did they like about it? What should I order?…More »

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3. The Bagpiper on the corner of Queen & University

NE Corner of Queen St. & University Ave.
Toronto, ON
Canada

Categories: Performing Arts, Local Flavour

Neighbourhoods: Queen Street West, Downtown Core

7/20/2009 First to Review

For the love of God, please STOP!

I'm all for supporting local artists and performers but this bagpiper makes my ears bleed. And when I hear bagpipes I wonder, "Did a cop just die?"

Between this obnoxiously loud windbag and the weirdo ferret handler…More »

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4. TTC tokens

1900 Yonge St
Toronto, ON M4S 1Z3
Canada

Category: Local Flavour

Neighbourhood: Mount Pleasant and Davisville

9/15/2009 First to Review

So wee and precious, a TTC token is the perfect size--if I were a 10-inch-tall Barbie doll riding the Barbie TTC in a Barbie world.

Seriously, why so small? Is there some kind of brass and nickel shortage? Is the size commensurate to the satisfaction…More »

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5. The voice announcing stops on the subway

Toronto, ON
Canada

Categories: Local Flavour, Local Services

7/28/2009 First to Review

What's the matter, lady? Didn't have your Wheaties that morning? Just come from donating a pint of blood? Riding the Toronto subway is depressing enough without hearing this hack's anemic low-energy prerecorded announcements.

I don't need a perky…More »

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6. People Who Can't Spell the Word Definitely

Civilization, CA 94133

Neighbourhood: North Beach/Telegraph Hill

2/26/2010

Learn to spell, dummy. Or hit the spell-check button.

Your (not "you're") typos hurt my eyes.

Also, the grammar nazi in me wants to add quotation marks and change the title of this review to:
People Who Can't Spell the Word "Definitely"

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7. Sarah Palin

Wasilla, AK 99654

Category: Local Flavor

2/26/2010

This "pitbull in lipstick" needs a farking muzzle. STFU already.

Good for Kids? Hell, no.

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8. Toronto's Squirrels

Bloor St W
Toronto, ON M6P 3K7
Canada

Category: Local Flavour

Neighbourhood: High Park

11/9/2009 First to Review

Throughout the continental U.S. and major cities around the world, squirrels come in one shade and one shade only; a rather insipid grayish taupe[1].

In Toronto, however, the color spectrum of squirrels is like a muthaflippin' rainbow.
So far, I've…More »

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9. Neil T's parents' house

123 Tree-lined Street
Markham, ON
Canada

Category: Local Flavour

11/5/2009 First to Review

This was an impromptu stop on the Epic Suburb Crawl*. I'm not from around these parts so I don't know if this house is in Markham or Scarborough or Sault Ste Marie. All I know is that Neil's parents live in the 'burbs.

It's a nice house with one of…More »

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Funny (10)
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Recently updated lists from susan c.

This Is Why I'm Fat (13) Fatty food for fatty folks. Just like my belly girth, this list is still growing...	Keeping Track of My ROTD (Reviews of the Day) (9) Yikes. Another ROTD? This is getting embarrassing. I'm not worthy.
Yelp Elite Events (18) Membership definitely has its privileges...	Places Where I've Had Good Times (NYC) (6) Dedicated to sarah l. who started a similar list and with whom I've had many good times
The Plush Life (1) Establishments with real hand towels in the restrooms instead of the cheap paper kind	Boozy in Brooklyn (3) Places where I've gotten drunk in Brooklyn. I expect this list to grow.
Drool-Worthy NYC Shops (3) Great for gifts or hoarding for yourself	The Sweet Taste of Success (5) My favorite places for dessert in New York
Men at Work (2) Movers, locksmiths, and other men for the job.	Places in Toronto My Friend Saeromi Should Check Out (26) And for you, too, if you like food, fun and low-key vibes.