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- Price Range:
-
$
- Accepts Credit Cards:
- No
- Good for Groups:
- Yes
- Outdoor Seating:
- No
- Music:
- DJ, Live
- Best Nights:
- Fri, Thu, Sat
- Happy Hour:
- No
- Alcohol:
- Full Bar
- Smoking:
- Outdoor Area/ Patio Only
- Coat Check:
- No
- Noise Level:
- Average
- Good For Dancing:
- Yes
- Has TV:
- Yes
- Wheelchair Accessible:
- Yes
13 reviews for Funky Winker Beans
13 reviews in English
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Review from Nicole F.
8/21/2011 2 Check-ins Here
I spent my entire last weekend here for some reason. It was a little slow on the Friday, despite some metal bands playing. A lovely fellow with forehead tattoos kept my cousin and I company for most of the night. I think his name was Ryan. Anyways, we realized halfway through the night that someone abandoned 4 open but full cans of Caribou on our table.
Our new friend Ryan grabbed an empty pitcher and filled it with our new free beers. I may or may not have drank a few glasses of this questionable beer. I like to keep it mysterious though, so I'll let the readers decide what happened.
We came back the very next night for SNFU and it was packed! It was a good night and the drinks there are pretty cheap. The only downside of the entire weekend was when an empty but very used thing of underarm deodorant landed in my lap after flying across the bar. I hucked it back at the crowd and I think I hit a really tall guy.
Aaaanyways, the washroom is hard to figure out in a drunken haze, but I sort of figured out that the middle stall is probably your best bet if you want the door to close and lock almost properly.
There is plenty of seating available which I really like. I also like the man that wanders through the bar selling pizza slices. He spiced things up on Saturday and sold calzones instead. WACKY. -
Review from Edward L.
Wow, they weren't kidding when they say this place is a ghetto-dive bar. I've been to ghetto places such as the Cambie and enjoyed it immensely, but to be honest, this one's a bit too ghetto for my liking.
Sure it's on the Downtown Eastside. Sure the inside is beaten up. But wow, the interior smells like moldy dust. Fortunately one's nose goes numb after a few minutes.
The interior does have some neat artwork. There's some graffiti on some of the walls that actually pretty well done. On the other side are some paintings of titties and other naked females.
The bar area itself is quite large. As I had heard that the tap piping here is on the dirty side, I didn't venture too close. Really didn't want to know.
At the back is a raised stage with DJ table, and a small dance floor. The waitress asked us if we wanted to do Karaoke. Considering the place was filled with some really creepy looking guys (I wanted to take a picture but didn't want to get stabbed with a syringe), we politely declined. In the background they kept playing the same 5 or so Rage Against the Machine songs. They looped this. Oh, then they also played a hard rock version of Billy Joel's Uptown Girl in between the RATM loopings.
Today (Wednesday) the special was $3 Cariboo pints (several types available). These are the real deal. No skimping on the volume here. They also had $9 pitchers as part of the same promotion. I had the lager. It actually wasn't bad.
As the place really stunk, I dared not venture into the washroom. Maybe some other fellow Yelper can take one for the team.
This may not be the place to go for a hot date. -
Review from Rheanna F.
Vancouver, BC
Updated - 2/7/2012
I think the only place on earth that i would still go to even if it was infested with bed bugs is Disneyland. Unfortunately Funky Winker Beans, as glorious as its cheap booze and band nights may be, is not Disneyland. Adieu for now Funky's! :-(
Listed in: Below the poverty line and…, Best Places to Drink Til You…, Make Mine Music!
1 Previous Review: Show all »
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3/18/2011 ROTD 8/13/2011
Funky's has basically taken up where the Cobalt left off. Wendy13, who managed Cobalt in it's metal… Read more »
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Review from Evilyn T.
1/14/2011 1 Check-in Here
We staggered over here after the Yelp Elite party at the New Oxford, we went from classy graduates, to sloppy drop-outs in a matter of minutes. It was karaoke night at the Winker Beans, so we needed to get on that stage and rock the joint. They had the song list taped up to the wall outside the bathrooms, which was not the most pleasant place to stand if you were planning on breathing without a gas mask. We picked out a few songs and they somehow made it into the DJ's hands, I honestly don't remember much past this point? However, I do recall staggering next door to use the bank machine since they do not have one in the pub.
Lucky for me, I didn't have to take out too much money since doubles cost about $6.50 or so, and obviously at this point I really needed another drink. Most of the people who get up to sing aren't very good, myself included, so you never have to follow up some jerk that actually CAN sing who regularly comes down to practice for their cover band at the pub, who thinks they are the shit. The place was not too crowded, in fact I don't think it was crowded at all, so even if I was seeing double, there was a lot of room to sit down with a crew of peeps and get in on the fun. I sang some Pearl Jam, cuz I've heard that I can do a pretty good Eddie Veddar. I like to think that rumour is true.
I have to ask though, why the heck is this place called Funky Winker Beans? What the heck are Winker Beans anyways?Listed in: Best Pubs/Clubs
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Review from Alex K.
Vancouver, BC
3/19/2011
I would like to offer a counterpoint to my esteemed colleague Rheanna F's assessment of this establishment.
*ahem*
I like a good divebar as much as the next drunk, but this place is consistently filled with either a) actual creeps and scumbags or b) people who think it's cool to hang out in a bar filled with creeps and scumbags because it's "so authentic". I'm not entirely convinced the former is worse than the latter, but hey, turns out they're equally grating once they have a few drinks in them! The only times I've set foot in this place have been to see bands, and in the venue's defense they do have reasonably decent sound, and inexpensive drinks. But holy shit, the folks who hang out at FWB are so obnoxious I'm pretty sure my body breaks out in hives the moment I walk in the door. I guess that's not a surprise since the clientele here are the same people who ran the "original" Cobalt into the ground and were shocked, SHOCKED when they lost their super-cool punk rock venue. As if the owners of the building should have been content to continue to let the place get graffiti'd, pissed in and otherwise trashed. I guess there's a couple of kids in every generation eager to grope punk rock's pulverized, skull-fucked cadaver, and hey, more power to 'em. At least Funky's keeps them out of the establishments I prefer to frequent.
It gets 2 stars because if you manage to hit the place up at the right moment or there's a decent band charging cover to keep the skids out you can expect cheap hooch and okay sound. That said you can achieve the same effect getting drunk in your home with the stereo up, so choose carefully. -
Review from Dayna B.
Vancouver, BC
8/28/2009
Hahahahahahahaa. After reviewing the Cambie a story popped into my head and I just had to review Funky Winker Beans. When I say I love the Cambie people often tell me its sketchy and they don't feel safe there. That's when I tell them about Funky Winker Beans. A couple of my guy friends swear by the $2 pints here.....yyyeeeaaahhhhh....
At the behest of my date I went here with him and a friend of his (another small girl). Right in the middle of the bad part of East Hasting, next to Save on Meats, is this little gem.
We walk in, and the first thing we see is a poster of a missing woman taped to a structural pole. Awesome...
Next thing we see are several giant Plasma HD TVs showing CBC... Alright....
Once we sat down, I noticed that my coaster had that nice half wet and then dried look to it and I noticed half a phone number written on it. I applaud the good common sense that made the person not give the final 4 digits...
It was pretty apparent that our waitress was on the 3rd day or so of neglecting personal hygiene, and to be honest, I'm not sure why we had a waitress at all...
The bathrooms......I'm not a neat freak or a clean freak....but try to stay out of them. The woman's bathroom was missing at least one door. Why? Maybe someone really needed it.
It was a Thursday and it was karaoke night. I can only assume this one woman was a regular, she definitely seemed the part, and sang about every 3rd song. The beer is ridiculously cheap here so we ended up drinking quite a lot and ended up closing the bar with our own rendition of "Tearin' Up My Heart"...after the local bar stars rendition of "Kiss From A Rose" I thought she owed us one. I can assure you though, not one song sung was not ear grating, and that included ours.
All in all the crowd of strung out patrons and the general air of the place made me feel like I could get shanked at any moment, and I was warned not to sit in one of the corner tables because it would be assumed I was "buying."
After our little adventure here we walked, very briskly, to the Cambie, where I have never felt more safe. -
Review from Rachel P.
Vancouver, BC
11/17/2010
I don't understand the low ratings for this place, c'mon people, it is what it is....a dive!
This in not the sort of place where I could really walk in and be genuinely shocked or surprised by the general grubbiness, the state of the washrooms, the sticky carpet or the "colourful" clientele. Seriously, anyone with this reaction, do you know where you are?
I can tell you now, you ain't in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Sure, Funky's may not be my number one choice of watering hole EVERY day of the week, but when I visit to check out some local punk/metal/hardcore/grindcore/doom/thrash-whatever is on that night, its totally fine.
Cheap drinks, table service and one of the safest venues on East Hastings to watch live music. And you know, in the big scheme of dives worldwide, this place is tame as hell.
If you miss the "real" Cobalt and want an unpretentious venue for live music where you can shout and swear and get highly intoxicated, check it out. If peeing without a lock on the door or being served by some goth-babe with attitude is going to keep you awake at night, perhaps give it a miss. -
Review from Sam W.
9/3/2010
If you have to go to Canada, make your trip pleasant, and go here. Its my number one spot for that country.
The floor is sticky, the air is sticky. No atter how freezing it is outside, its humid as a Banthas Ass crack in this place. You can almost drink the warm salty air with a hint of 80's metal BO.
I love it, and i now crave it from writing this review. Beers are cheap, service is fast and this is the only place to go after the Cobalt closed.
Do yourself a favor, get in there, let the pores of your skin open up and absorb the delicious atmospheric molecules this place provides. -
Review from Ruby D.
Vancouver, BC
10/22/2010
Love it. Great place to hear local punk & metal bands on the weekend. Decent priced drinks, friendly staff, and if you're into old dive bars this place is perfect.
As for the washrooms, they always seem to be missing a few key items, but hey, I don't come here for the cleanliness. -
Review from Mathieu Y.
Vancouver, BC
10/6/2009
The Funky Winkerbeans is one of the cleaner dives on East Hastings. Their beer tastes and costs cheap and the tables smell of bleach, But the bar staff will remember you if you actually tip for your pint! Like most true dives, the regulars can be found in here day in and day out, especially during the afternoon of the month's fourth Wednesday. Your wallet wont be exercised drinking here.
The interior decorations are interesting, with the retro wallpaper and flapper girl designs adorning the walls. The booths are pretty comfortable and if you come here with a large crowd the tables are adjustable. I wouldnt sit on any surface in the washroom, although the graffiti is hilarious. There's a pool table near the dance floor that's rarely used, and a jukebox that plays incredibly quietly.
The bar used to host live bands, although I havent heard of them hosting any shows recently. A friend of mine got us a show on a Sunday night, and the bar staff was completely unprepared. One of my friends, a 120 lb lady, was grabbed and thrown out by the bar staff for dancing too raucously! They had no waivers for underage performers, meaning that one of the opening acts couldn't perform that night as well. They seem to have adjusted themselves well though, because their Friday night dance parties have exploded with popularity...
I dont know what to say about the dance party they host every Friday, except that it seems to bring back the hipster clientelle they were once partial to with their hilarious free-beer giveaway kareoke nights. A lot of fixed gear bikes locked up to the scaffolding, perfect for the daring crackhead skilled at picking a lock and looking for someone to sell a bike to. The 2am last call is pretty great if you dont want to hang out at Pub 340 or the Met.Listed in: Dance to this music, Dive drinks
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Review from Paul J G.
6/17/2009
SHADY... I've been living in Oaktown for a year and a half now and this place is pretty f'ing shady. I had good time, but I'm certain that this place only goes OK when there's a gig there.
My cousin and his posse had a shindig here (No More Strangers) and I think that livened the place up a lot, otherwise I can imagine the barflies, junkies and weirdos kicking it here. The neighborhood isn't great at night, so watch your ass if you're headed around the way.
When a buddy and me ordered a pitcher a cute chick attending the same event immediately says "whatever you do, don't order beer from the tap... the taps here are dirty and gives people upset stomachs" she says this as she walks away with a pitcher full of tap beer (also, this was not the first time nor the only place I've heard that line said to me in Canada; I guess there are a lot of dirty taps up in 'er). Seeing as we're two homeboys from the Oaktown, we get a couple of pitchers anyway... It was fine..., what wasn't fine was an old homeless lady was all over my buddy when we were drinking beer before the band played! It was pretty funny however!
Over all the place is pretty sh@t, but if there's a gig there it's worth it.
Who said Canada was all clean? -
Review from David L.
Vancouver, BC
4/21/2010 1 Check-in Here
This is getting to be one of my favourite bars in Vancouver. I'm not even going to tell you why because I want to keep it the way it is. So just forget you ever saw this.
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Review from Jasmine O.
Vancouver, BC
4/28/2010
I go past everyday on my way to work.. looks like a rough crowd.. never went in. Last night though it was my housemates memorial there and so I took a friend and off we went.. Cheap drinks, friendly bartenders. No pretention. Good bar feel... I'm that kind of girl
Listed in: Drink it up
